


Cursed Together

by claimingsanctuary (timeschange)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Awkward Sam, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Funny, M/M, Okay it's not fluff exactly, Prompt Fic, Witches, but it's really funny, you have my word
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-03-02 09:10:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2807195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timeschange/pseuds/claimingsanctuary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In my fic <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/2242707/chapters/4920471/">A Wedding at the Bunker</a>, Sam walks into the room and interrupts Dean and Cas. They finally pull apart, and "any longer and Sam would’ve worried their lips had been cursed together again. That was an awkward case. Probably the longest of Sam’s life."</p><p>I got a prompt asking me to write this! So here it is!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cursed Together

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the-third-christmas on tumblr for giving me this prompt! It was a good exercise in writing Sam, I think.

“Freakin’ witches,” Dean shuddered.

In the passenger seat next to him, Sam rolled his eyes. “Yeah, man, we get it. They’re ‘skeevy’.”

“Damn right.”

“I fail to see how witches are any worse than the other things you hunt,” Castiel observed from the backseat. “I feel like they are easier to dispose of, in fact.”

“Well, yeah, but they’re…messy.”

Castiel nodded like Dean had just explained the meaning of life and sat back in his seat with a fond smile. “I see.”

“I think that’s it,” Sam said suddenly, leaning forward to look through the windshield. He pointed to a small office building with a large sign in front reading “Smith’s Insurance” in large block letters. “That’s where Carrie works.”

Dean pulled into the parking lot and shut off the Impala. “Shall we?”

They were in Frankfort, following a lead Dean picked up (that he regretted picking up the minute they realized it was a witch, of course). Three dead in two weeks, the first of them spilling her guts (literally), the second accidentally peeking off all of his skin and the third randomly boiling in the middle of the night.

All three of the victims were connected to one Carrie Menzel. The boys stopped by her apartment first, but Carrie’s roommate said she wasn’t home and suggested they try Carrie’s office.

Sam tried the building’s front door. “Locked,” he said, turning to Dean and Cas. “Sign says they’re still open, though.”

“Well _someone’s_ here,” Dean said, nodding toward the other car in the lot.

“Think it’s hers, though?”

“If so, she’s got a crappy taste in cars.”

Sam knocked on the door. When they waited but no response came, Sam knocked again, this time calling out “FBI!”

Still nothing. “Okay,” Sam said, pulling out the lock-picking kit Dean got him last Christmas. “I’ll go in and try to push her out this way, so you guys should wait here for when she tries to bolt,” he explained in a low voice while he worked.

“Yes, sir,” Dean said with a mock salute, leaning against the wall. When he thought Sam wasn’t looking he reached out and grabbed Cas by the lapels of his coat, pulling the angel flush against him. “We’ll be, uh, _waiting_ right here.”

“ _Ugh,_ seriously?” Sam asked. He stood after he heard the satisfying click of the lock. “It’s been two months. You’d think you would’ve learned how to keep your hands off each other by now. _At least_ while we’re working.”

“Are we making you uncomfortable?” Castiel asked, his expression blank if not for the smirk behind his eyes.

“Yes! Now can you stop caressing my brother in my presence?”

Cas sheepishly removed his hand from the older Winchester’s chest and Dean rolled his eyes, muttering something about Sam being a cockblock.

“I’m going in. Can you two _please_ try to stay focused? You can do… _whatever_ after the witch is taken care of.”

Dean and Cas both nodded, taking a step away from each other to placate Sam. Dean caught Castiel’s eye and winked.

“Thank you,” Sam sighed in exasperation. Pulling his gun from his holster, he toed the door open and took a few cautious steps inside.

Immediately inside the building, there was an open floor filled with cubicles. The lights were all off, but a soft glow from a hallway toward the back illuminated the place enough for Sam to see where he was going. Sam crept toward the source of the light, his gun held ready at his side.

The light clicked off and Sam froze, raising his gun.

“Freeze!” he shouted when a figure emerged from the hallway and practically barreled into him. The woman squeaked, taking a step back.

“Are you Carrie Menzel?” Sam asked. He lowered his gun, holding his free hand up reassuringly. “It’s okay. I just want to talk.”

Carrie nodded slowly. “Okay, but I just have to…“ Before Sam could stop her she pulled something small out of her purse and threw it to the ground at Sam’s feet. Instinctively, the hunter jumped out of the way just before there was a spark and a cloud of pink smoke appeared where he’d just been standing.

Unfortunately, his sudden dive sent him crashing into a cubicle, hitting his hip against its sharp corner. From there he rolled and hit the ground, the impact knocking the air out of his lungs.

He rolled over onto his back, gasping for air, and saw Carrie run for the door. She was digging through her purse for something else, hopefully car keys and not another hex bag.

“Dean!” Sam called, trying to warn his brother. Cringing at the sharp pain in his hip, he pushed himself to his feet. He allowed just a few seconds to catch his breath, trusting that Dean and Cas could handle one little witch.

But then he heard a car start. And it wasn’t the roar of the Impala, loud enough for half the street to hear, but the quiet hum of Carrie’s energy-efficient car.

 _"Dean! Cas!”_ Sam shouted, running to the door. He made it outside just in time to see Carrie’s car turn out of the parking lot and disappear down the street. Running a hand through his hair, he turned to where Dean and Cas had been standing when he’d entered the building.

Where they were _still_ standing. With their arms wrapped around each other. Looking like they were trying their hardest to eat each other’s faces off. “ _Jesus!_ What the _hell_ is wrong with you guys?! You just let her get off free? I’m glad you’re finally together and all, but _seriously?_ What—“

Dean hummed angrily into Castiel’s mouth, and that’s when Sam noticed that neither of them were moving. At all.

“Oh my God,” Sam said, moving over to inspect the brother and the angel. He tried to shake Dean’s shoulder, but the man didn’t budge. They seemed to be frozen mid-kiss, eyes screwed shut and stuck with their arms wrapped around each other. One of Dean’s hands was tangled in Cas’ hair the other in Cas’ coat, and both of Castiel’s hands were similarly entwined. “Shit. Are you guys okay?”

Castiel was the one to hum this time.

“Are you guys in any pain at all? How about one hum for yes, two for no.”

They both hummed twice. “Okay, good,” Sam said, relaxing a little now that here didn’t seem to be any immediate danger. “See what happens when you don’t listen to me? You guys wouldn’t be in this position if you’d been looking out for Carrie.”

Dean protested, making a sound that resembled a grumpy “Sammy!”

“Right, sorry,” Sam chuckled. “Can you move at all?”

“Mmm-mmm,” Dean said. He tried saying something else, but it was muffled by Castiel’s lips.

“I didn’t quite catch that,” Sam said, trying not to laugh at the awkwardness of the situation.

The tiniest of lines appeared between Dean’s eyebrows. He tried again.

“Okay. One word, one syllable. Starts with an S, right? Oh! _Spell!_ ”

Dean hummed excitedly. Castiel blew more air out of his nose than usual, managing to convey how exasperated he was with the situations.

“Well thanks, Dean, but I think I could have worked out that this was a spell all on my own. You can’t even wiggle your fingers or anything?”

Two hums. Sighing, Sam passed a hand across his face. “Okay. Let me, um, see if I can…” He grabbed Dean’s wrist, trying to pry it away from Castiel’s coat. Dean made a surprised sound and Sam felt the muscles of his arm tense under his hand.

“Relax, I’m just trying to see if I can at least pull you apart. But holler if I accidentally hurt you.”

Sam pulled on Castiel’s arm with both hands, but the angel’s hand remained firmly cupping Dean’s ass.

“This is so _awkward,_ ” Sam whined.

Dean let out a long string of sound that was angry sounding and _completely_ unintelligible.

“I’m not even going to _try_ translating that.”

Next, Sam tried wedging an arm between Dean and Castiel’s bodies.

“Wow. You two weren’t leaving any room for Jesus, huh?”

Castiel made a sound that was both confused and indignant, making Dean snort.

“It’s just an expression, Cas,” Sam explained. He walked around Cas so he was standing behind the angel. “Don’t freak out, okay?” He grabbed the angel by the waist, trying to pull him away from where he was pressing Dean into the wall. Taking a quick step back to catch his breath (they didn’t seem to be budging, no matter how hard Sam pulled), Sam looked down and noticed Castiel’s leg was slotted between his brothers. “Gross.”

He tried again, throwing all of his weight into it, and was shocked when he actually managed to slide Cas backward about a foot.

“Hey! I think I— Oh. Dean just slid with you. Well at least you’re not glued to the wall. Just to each other, apparently. Maybe if I—“

“ _Ehhs ahh wahanng,”_ Cas managed.

“I _know_ it’s not working, Cas,” Sam snapped. Cas whined in response, and Dean tried saying something again.

“Dean, I know this is hard for you, but could you leave the talking to me and Cas? I have _no idea_ what you’re trying to say, but Cas I can actually somewhat understand.”

“ _Aah ouhh eh ore oeehn,”_ Cas tried to explain.

"Your _what_ is more _what?_ ”

“ _Ouhh. Ohen_.”

“Mouth. Open. Oh, ew. I can _see_ that, actually, but thanks for the overshare, Cas.”

Cas harrumphed.

“Okay. Here’s the plan: I’m going to get you two back to the hotel…uh, somehow. Then you’re going to hang tight while I find Carrie and make her undo this. Sound good?”

Dean and Cas both hummed an affirmative.

“Good. Wait here. Erm, not that you have much of a choice,” Sam snickered.

He pulled the Impala up alongside the couple, as close as he could get without hitting either of them, and popped open the door to the back seat.

“Dean, I’m going to be pushing you from behind. Heads up,” Sam warned. Using his shoulder, Sam managed to slide them closer to the Impala, ignoring Dean’s whined protest. He forgot, however, about the curb. He pushed Castiel’s feet off the edge of the curb, which ended up throwing off the couple’s equilibrium and sent them both pitching forward—well, Dean pitched forward and Cas fell backward.

Their fall ended when the back of Castiel’s head hit the Impala’s roof. They both started making indignant sounds at once.

“Sorry! I’m sorry, geez! I’d like to see _you guys_ try this.”

Cas tried saying something.

“Oh really, Cas? _Are you_ an angel? I hadn’t noticed. But you know, I don’t see you using your mojo to help with our current situation, so _shut it._ ”

After lots of pushing, pulling, and prodding (not to mention grumbling and incoherent suggestions for Dean and Castiel), Sam managed to get the conjoined lovers situated in the back seat. He had to keep walking around to the other side of the car, alternating between pushing them in and hooking his arms under their arms to pull them in. Fortunately Dean was leaning forward when they were initially frozen, otherwise he might not have fit.

When they reached the hotel, Sam groaned and slammed his forehead into the steering wheel. “Can I just leave you guys here overnight?”

“ _Mmm!”_

“Come on! I’ll cover you with a blanket or something!”

“Mmm!”

“ _Fine,_ ” Sam groaned. “Actually…hang tight. I think I have an idea.”

He disappeared, returning a minute later with a dolly from the front office. “I have no idea if this is going to work, but I’m hopeful!” Sam said cheerily, when he opened the back door to the Impala.

Cas made a series of sounds that, when put together, sounded like the question “what are you doing?”

“Uh…nothing. Don’t worry about it. Just...you’re going to have to trust me, okay?”

He pulled them out of the back seat and threw a blanket over them before anyone could see them. They actually fit on the dolly, making the trip to the door of their motel room fairly easy for Sam. At one point, Sam hit a bump in the sidewalk and almost knocked them over, but he managed to catch them by the back of Castiel’s trench coat before Dean cracked the back of his head on the sidewalk.

Dean squawked indignantly for several minutes, all the way up until Sam got them into the room and shoved them onto one of the beds. “ _Shut up,_ Dean. This is still all your fault.”

“Now, I’m going to try and figure out where Carrie would’ve ran to. Feel free to talk amongst yourselves,” he chuckled. “Actually, wait. I’m going to roll you onto your sides first. Dean, seeing you laying on top of an angel out of the corner of my eye is making me really uncomfortable.”

After moving the couple and returning the dolly, Sam made a few calls to hunters to ask if any of them had dealt with this kind of curse before.

After researching for a while, he sighed out loud. “All right. So I’ve hacked into Carrie’s service provider and have a lock on the GPS on her phone. I’ll go find her and make her remove this curse thing.”

 

Two hours later, Sam returned. “Well,” he said, tossing his jacket on the bed where, as he expected, Dean and Cas still lay frozen. “Carrie’s dead.”

“ _Mmm! Mm mmm-mm! Mmm?”_

“Dean, relax. I talked to her first. She said that the curse wears off after a few hours, you just have to stick it out a little longer.”

Dean let out a truly pitiful whine and mumbled something against Cas’ lips. Cas laughed through his nose.

“What was that, Dean?” Sam asked with a faint smile. Dean tried repeating himself. “Is this something important, or can I just ignore you?”

“ _Mmm!_ ”

Cas, apparently understanding what Dean was trying to say better than Sam was, tried to clarify.

“ _Oh,"_  Sam said, understanding. _"_ Dean, there’s nothing I can do! Just hang in there and, uh,” Sam laughed, “try not to pee yourself.”

Dean groaned.

“Hey! Cas just wiggled his fingers! See? It’s starting to wear off.”

Five minutes later, the spell seemed to dissolve completely. Sam was just pulling out his laptop when Dean and Cas fell apart with loud groans.

“ _It’s about fucking time!”_ Dean shouted, climbing over Castiel in his haste to get to the bathroom. Cas grunted when Dean’s knee connected with his stomach.

“Dean!”

“Sorry! I just  _really_ have to pee, man!” Dean swung his legs over the side of the bed and tried to stand but ended up crashing to the ground with a high-pitched yelp.

“I assume your legs are numb as well, Dean?” Castiel asked, rubbing the feeling back into his arms. Despite the weirdness of the past few hours, the sight had Sam bursting into laughter. There was Dean on the ground, scrambling to get up so he could go to the bathroom, and then Cas, sitting on the middle of the bed and looking like a lost puppy. Once Cas realized that Dean was okay, even he chuckled a little.

Dean shot them both angry looks before making his way to the bathroom on shaky legs.

When he came back into the room, Sam couldn’t resist teasing his big brother a little more. “So, does this mean you’ve learned your lesson?” he asked with a cheeky grin.

“Oh shut it, Sammy.”

“I don't think I will. By the way, you might want to lay off the pie, Dean. You and Cas are insanely heavy.”

“Yeah, speaking of,” Dean said, holding up a finger, “you almost dropped us like _fifty times,_ dude!”

“Uh, it was _twice._ And it’s your fault you were in the situation in the first place! I think I handled everything pretty well, considering.”

Castiel sat on the couch, watching the conversation with amused interest, but both he and Sam cringed when a mischievous smirk spread across Dean’s face.

“You’re right, Sam. Cas and I learned our lesson. Didn’t we, Cas?”

“Uh…” Cas looked at Sam with wide eyes, not sure where Dean was going with this.

Dean continued. “We won’t mess around when we’re on the job anymore, promise.” While he talked, he slowly made his closer to the bed. “When we’re back at the _motel,_ on the other hand…”

With that, Dean—apparently not caring that Sam was sitting only a few feet away—climbed onto the bed and straddled Cas’ lap. Dean tangled his hand in Castiel’s hair, pulling him in for a kiss. Sam winced when Cas groaned and melted into the kiss, his hands flying up to cover his eyes.

“Okay, I give!” Sam screeched, “You win! I get it! I’ll stop teasing, just make it stop!”

Dean mumbled something into Castiel’s lips. Sam, having become skilled at interpreting Dean’s different mumbles in the last few hours, knew that that was Dean's way of telling him to get another room. Sam grabbed a pillow and threw it at them, but they completely ignored him. Then, Castiel was pulling Dean’s shirt off and Dean was moaning into his neck.

“ _Oh my God, stop!!”_ Sam scrambled, gathering up his laptop and bag and anything else he might for the night and practically fled from the room.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, and let me know what you think! Go follow me on tumblr at [fantasy-novelist](http://fantasy-novelist.tumblr.com/)! Feel free to send me a prompt of your own!


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